READING

7. Taking Stock: Time to dream again

7. Taking Stock: Time to dream again

Ms. Beverly Gatimu was a force to reckon with. Her presence evicted mediocrity. She demanded straight back posture with one look. Bev, as we called her hoping that she never caught wind of it, was the professor who taught the class, Writing for Television. 

A class that taught exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? Sign me up!

If you were late to class, Bev would have stand outside the class. See you could chose to walk away but sometimes she would deliver assignments due the next day during class, so if you missed it, you were, for lack of a better word, screwed!

Bev saw each one of us for who we were. I remember during a presentation, she asked us to emulate the kind of jobs we wanted to do. I showed up the next day dressed like a news anchor ready to conduct a television interview. Afterwards Bev gave a performance critique and she later told me, all of you can do what you put your minds to. It’s hard, but possible.

None of us knew Bev personally. We knew she was a mother, had two graduate degrees stacked on her undergraduate degree all under the age of 30. Bev inspired me to want to Master’s Degree. I regretted not telling her the same but she let me know that it is possible to go further in education.

Usher in, Ms. Susan Karago. In one word, scary!

Ms. Karago was allergic to nonsense and expected nothing but the best. She taught, Video Production. Same drill, if you are late to class, your little heinie stayed out. Either that or she left the class and we were left to teach ourselves. On the first day, she made the rules clear and let us know that quitting the class was an option.

At first, I was taken back by her. I decided to talk to her under the guise of asking about an assignment. She told me that she worked in the industry and would ran into students who had gone through our school and were falling short. That would not happen under her watch.

From then on, her standards became my life goals. She had gotten her master’s in the UK and she worked for a reputable media house all under the age of 30. I was 20 when I took both classes and in my mind I had 10 years to do what these women had done. I wrote it down as a dream, get a PhD by 30 and be a professor like Bev and Ms. Susan.

I wrote down many dreams and only when I sat down to take stock, it all hit me that all the things I dreamed of, came to pass in some way. I add that caveat because they are things that have come but not in the way I prayed for them.

Until a couple of months ago, I beat myself up for squandering VERY many opportunities that I swindled while remaining blinded to the many ways God showed me grace. That even in my many messes, God gave little glimpses into what was possible if only I could trust.

Here’s the catch, my dreams were capped at 30. I have no plan after that, well until today.

The last couple of months I have been asking what God wants me to do. Where He wants me. The ideas that keep me awake at night, does He approve? Are they all Him or are pride and worldly ambition intertwined in it. Doing a heart check for all ambition to make sure that it is indeed God and not me.

This morning I woke up to pray about and I finally had the nudge to dream again. This time with the confidence that you could mess everything up and God can still use us.

So if your dreams, those that God planted in you as a child. Those that had continued to tug at your heart as you clock into your place of work. The ones you are thinking about as you read this post. Those dreams, seek God’s heart about them and begin the work. In another decade we will see more of His goodness, beyond our wildest imaginations.

You should know, God is willing to use you for His kingdom and my prayer is that He opens your eyes to see that, give you faith for it and grace as you undertake it. From one dreamer to another, keep on charging ahead.

 


  1. Nka

    28 September

    Yes my dear. It’s such a great reminder especially when I’ve been introspecting the last couple of weeks and wondering what is fuelling most of my dreams and ambitions

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