This week has been a daze and it’s not Friday yet.
I know that because I have overachieved my to-do list. That usually happens when my mind is running away from reality. Previously, I would have grabbed KFC and binge-watched All American (again) and daydreamed of what it must be to be in their writer’s room. The clouds would then creep up and I would have either fought them or sat in it until they gave up and wafted away from me.
This is not the case. The last few weeks have been better. I am eating healthier, taking a daily walk, working on my documentary, writing, praying, calling my people and creating. My head has been clearer but my heart feels everything around me.
My week’s work is done and I have found more things to do. I want to work so I can escape the heartbreak of this week. The headlines threaten my soul with numbness. It’s some sort of cognitive dissonance where my mind is awake to reality but my heart hides in its cape. There are long conversations with God about the world. There is a sense of helplessness when I watch the news. How much time do we have?
The government of Kenya demolished houses of vulnerable Kenyans in the midst of a pandemic.
My university has let go of professors who gave their lives to academia.
One more thing about my government, there are reports of looting of the pandemic relief money. It’s the tea. Tea can be so expensive especially when it grows in your backyard. Did you know that the tea and sugar combination was invented by the British? It was elitist until they discovered that sugar had negative health repercussions but the industrial workers kept taking it because it gave them an energy boost and it was cheap.
By the way, you know those muffins whose baking tray you buy at Dollar Tree, we call those queen cakes in Kenya. Again it’s a British thing that reportedly evolved from Portugal but again it is British.
George Floyd lost his life in full view of the world under the knee of an (ex)police officer. He literally said, ‘I cannot breathe. My neck hurts. My stomach hurts. Everything hurts’.
Christian Cooper survived fatality because he dared to record Amy Cooper (no relation) who hoped to use the police to hurt him. Can you see why she would think that being an African American warrants death? Refer to the occurrence hitherto listed.
There are more videos of black men being brutalized by police (including black police officers).
Kenyans are also brutalized by police. The difference is we protest mostly on Twitter because going to the streets would have us killed. We tried protecting against scrupulous elections numerous times but the last attempt in 2017 was hopeful before but the leader of the movement changed his mind. All the deaths counted for a handshake between two men whose family names warrant them to keys to the kingdom. You cannot make this stuff up.
Did I mention coronavirus is still roaming the world?
I would talk about the economy but my heart hurts.
Therefore, I keep busy, overachieve my to-do list, read the books that had gathered dust, look up menus and make a mental note to try them. On some nights, I cry for God to avenge those that the world hates: the poor and non-white. Those who had no hand in deciding the metrics of the world. The people who give their all but it is never enough. Whose resilience is tested constantly by the political elite and the soon to be trillionaires.
My worry remains on the day the marginalized will get tired. Press conferences, hashtags, thoughts and prayers will not be enough. When the marginalized rise in a full-blown global class war nuanced with racialized and tribalistic politics. It feels too far off, but is it?
P.S. Tangled is a great movie.