I met a guy.
Actually two guys. Who am I kidding? I have met a lot of guys because Grad school is a mess. Same old high school set up with a lot more intellect.
I live in a small campus town. Everything is a stone throw away. Court Street has the best mocha I have ever had. Besides Artcaffe’ which was introduced to me by a former boss. Then there is Whits where you go for ice cream and good old coffee. Starbucks will more often than not stand out from the crowd because that is what Starbucks does. Right outside Starbucks is a student who just walked from Buffalo Wings with a laptop that has a ‘Say No To Corporate Coffee’ sticker. Donkey Coffee is where I am writing this from. I have become that person. Tucked in a corner as the sun sets at 5pm because winter is coming, typing away my experience of school.
Grad school is not where you go when you want to clear your head. It is not where you go to meet someone. Do not rule it out altogether. You might bump into each other at the library as you look for the Pedagogy of the Oppressed because you are the only one who has not read it. The cafeteria might be ideal too as you decide between spring lettuce or that with cheddar. Honestly, make a choice already it is all overpriced. Kroger. Now that might work. As you look for your item using pictures and you are still wondering what Roma tomatoes are because you call it nyanya.
Have you ever tried to look for super glue when you don’t know what brand to look for? Thank Google. Google says look for Loclite because it works with every material. Isle L is right at the back near Auto. Loclite, loclite, loclite, where are you?
‘It’s right there.’
‘Your left hand.’
Oh shoot he’s taking to me.
‘Are you taking to me?’
That was too aggressive.
‘I mean no harm really just trynna show you where the Loctite is.’
‘No you’re fine.’
When did I start to say that? Americans say that not me. I am a girl from Kirinyaga who apparently adds L in words that don’t need it. How original?
I grab the Loctite and run to glue back the watch my ex gave me. It is brown like my favorite boots and the one real leather jacket I own. It’s a gem really.
I met a couple of guys.
Mostly in class, others at school social gatherings and there is one who stands behind me at church and just stares. I know that because I stare as well. Height and thigh intrigue me. Skinny jeans should have come sooner honestly. Meeting a guy now is like picking a shoe for me. Comfort before fashion. Every shoe needs a good foundation, a flat base for a woman with thick thighs (that save lives). I know you said it. I get occasional edema so it needs to fit by the end of the day when I might be a bit grumpy.
Comfort over fashion.
The first one reminds me of a stiletto. Not physically, in that sector he is what women would call hot. I have learned to know how much heat I can handle. Just like a stiletto, loved by all women. In most cases it is painful to wear them but what is pain in fashion? They look good on you and give you a bounce when you walk.
I don’t like stilettos. They are too conspicuous for me. Attention and I do not go down well. You should ask tequila when you see her. Stilettos work with every outfit but not with my feet. I am past the age of wearing shoes for the occasion. I can no longer walk in shoes that jeopardize my ankles because that is my balance point. I have lost my balance a couple of times and to the best of my memory stilettos were involved. So yes I don’t like stilettos. Not even this one. And it is a good one but still no.
I am more of boot girl. They make them in all sizes and colors. A knee length black or brown boot, black booties (ankle or calf length)and a thigh length grey one is the way to my heart. That and a good book. And tea. The second one is good boot. A furry, velvety, comfy, warm, snugly, soft, well fitting boot. He is smart, driven, family oriented, going to be something very soon. I can sniffle it out.
Apparently that is something women can do. Tell when a man is on the path of greatness. He commands a room without trying like the grey boot. Composed, which compared to me is an iceberg and a tornado. He is thoughtful and not in the conniving kind of way where a man showers you with attention only to withdraw it once the deal is sealed. The kind of thoughtful that bends knees, even in boots.
Lengthy conversations feel dreamy. We could talk for eons about nothing and when we disagree it is with facts and logic not disrespect and insecurity. And while this might be the best boot I might ever had, I am passing on it.
There is something about coming to a house, slicing a $2 avocado, salad is not the only thing that is overpriced. Slicing a $2 avocado on some french beans because you just joined the gym and you do not want to sabotage your wellness goals. Leave that working itself out as you take a shower, check on the zit that refuses to pop and you are too scared because other one left a nasty black brazen scar. Pat dry and lather in coconut oil as Wendy’s Hot Topics play on your phone. Wear the one robe you own and enjoy your french beans with overpriced avocado.
I enjoy jumping on my bed and read five articles while I intended to read one. Sundays are the days I paint my nails and mask my face in egg white. Sometimes I stretch just to breathe and lie on the carpet listening to Elevation’s Do It Again. I can hear my thoughts and make decisions in silence. I have learned how to be present and intentional. It works for now! A colleague mentioned that I only feel that way for now. May be that is true. However the now is great. I am forgiving myself for things I never acknowledged. I pay my bills on time. Now that feels heavenly. My little space right now is great.
That may change. One day I may wake up and wish to have pancakes and coffee (tea for me) with someone. I might even marvel at fights over miscommunication and socks. Is the latter true by the way? Little humans might be a desire that I actively pursue. It might all come to me. Right now, I am zen for the first time in years.
And it works. So while I love a new boot, I am okay with my collection.