When I finished my primary school, I left my box somewhere in that school. I remember feeling so relieved that lessons, noisemaker’s lists, duties, convenient friendships and all the drama that comes with boarding school was done. At the time, it was my version of breaking out. That is exactly how I am feeling now as I confirm with my calendar that there is only one more day left of this year. Every one that I talk to wants this year to be over because it was bad for business, their life plan or did not just work for them.
Psychologically my year ended in November. I wrote down my goals and what seemed feasible, achievable and what I needed to adjust to get to where I want to be. This year has been an eye opener for me as a creative, broadcaster, woman and a christian. While it is easy to demonize 2017 I choose to look at the hardships as an opportunity for growth. If someone who met me six months ago interacted with me right now they would think of me schizophrenic. In that turmoil and hardship I planted seeds that will bear fruit in due season. I remember right around September there was so much madness on social media owing to the election that I particularly asked God to help me tame my thumb..tongue. Between then and October was another whole year. So instead of us wallowing over what we have lost this year let us focus on what we took from that year.
Fear is real…but it’s really not.
I have had ideas for TV shows since I was 17 but I assumed myself under qualified. Who was I to think anything of my idea? I would pitch it to a friend and once they approved I would not pursue it, as if I was looking for permission to have a good idea. In 2017 I found myself with an immensely lot of time and space to explore my ideas and with a bit of hesitation at the beginning I did it. From that little courage came forth this platform, a Vlog (Me! I am on YouTube. Jehova lives) and a string of auditions and two scripts for short films that I cannot wait to share. My lesson to you is, the fear you have to step out and live out your purpose is real. Deny it life by living through it. It also helps to recite the Marianne Williamson quote every morning.
I need to listen to God more
For a long time, I thought God only spoke to my grandmother because she would talk to me candidly about her encounters with God. I listened intently with slight jealousy and wondered why God did not speak to me as well. Around March this year, I remember telling God that I was ready to hear him. Well he did not come immediately but once he began to speak, it was so liberating. I found myself praying for things then see the headline weeks later and remember what we ( every one who prayed with me) were praying for. After the honeymoon phase with God my stubborn phase crept in. I consulted God on something and he said nothing. Zilch. What did I do? I took that as a yes and did what I wanted to do anyway. That choice has hurt me and others. In 2018 I will listen to God more.
I did two videos on YouTube on this but I need to emphasize this, be very clear on what you want to do. It might not be it but for the time you have allowed yourself to do it, your goal should be crystal clear. More often than not human beings react to fear as opposed to taking action. Think about it, career hopping may seem like a viable option because you are hoping to be financially stable at 25. Ha! If you pursued what you want, really want, it will pay off in due time. I apply a rule from Gary Vaynerchuck, pick one thing and run with it consistently for a year then evaluate if it is worth pursuing.
Love is the cure…so is the patience
I am an alpha female with a Type A personality who holds people to extremely high standards in a work environment. Any delays would have driven me crazy six months ago but now when it happens, I take a step back and think of the situation objectively. It has taken a lot of humility and patience to do that. Once on the other side I see the triviality of the whole matter and thank God I did not go off. I am in a space where I am starting out again in my journey and I have granted myself patience as well. Not to be confused as explained procrastination, I allow myself to be okay with okay.
God can defend himself just fine
I have been in situations where my christianity has been questioned. Rightfully so, I welcome the questions and try to answer them to the best of my ability. I even prayed for answers for some of them. However , if you have any ill feelings towards God, I withdraw from my role as your spiritual punching bag. Take it up with the Lord himself. He can handle himself and he has more patience than I do. Now to the christian folk, sometimes you are all the church someone will ever know.