There are two things I want to squash; a ladybird crawling up my pants and the clock ticking to my left. The insect is ridiculously beautiful and I would appreciate it if I was not in this room. There is an oak desk to my far left, behind it a bookcase with volumes of knowledge. Between the two is a comfortable chair that I am curious to know how it feels on my bottom. The chair I am sitting in now is an arm chair with a padded arm rest. If I did not need to be awake, I would fold my hands and sleep on it.
Now I am alert. The clock is ticking slowly and loudly piercing the awkward silence between us. Three thousand and six hundred. That is how many times that clock will tick before the hour is done. She is just staring at me like that should coerce me into some sort of action. The ladybird is now on my thigh. Looks like it’s looking for direction but my black jeans must look like the apocalypse.
That’s what I will have if I dare open my mouth. It will be the end where the madness begins. She stares at the insect and back at me. We hold a gaze. She is daring me to squash it. I will not give in. She gives up and continues to doodle. I take the ladybird on my forefinger. The black and red are well blended. Just like the scene yesterday.
It crawls freely in what seems to be relief. I turn towards the window to give it some light and it crawls faster. May be that is what I should do as well. Bring everything to light so that I can crawl out of this hole. She scribbles something in her notebook. This is not good. I drop the ladybird and it dashes across the room. The rug is white in colour. It must think it made it to heaven. I chuckle at the thought of it only for her to scribble again. She must think I am insane.
‘I did not do it,’ I say as I rest my chin in my left hand.
‘Good. Tell me who did.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘We have forty five minutes to go. Is there anything you CAN tell me about what happened?’
I submitted this as part of an interview for a workshop. I did not make it to the class but got an amazing review from the panel on this piece.